fractalnavel

mostly ate out the last couple weeks, but that's expensive, so i went shopping today.  passed the meat counter, and the big ol' t-bones were marked down two dollars a pound.  not a bad deal for good quality slab o' cow.  so that was dinner.  damn thing barely fit on the grill.  man, that stuff's good.  beats the crap out of the stuff you get at the steakhouse chains.  lotsa leftovers too.

once upon a time ...

i was cooking steaks one snowy winter day for a girlfriend and myself.  delmonicos.  she wanted hers well done.  so i somehow managed to cook what i thought was the perfect well-done steak, very thoroughly cooked, but still juicy & tender.  she turned her nose up at it - she wanted it dried out & tough.  that just pissed me off.  i think the steaks ended up in the trash.

i miss the 'free text box' control that was the old post editor in .Text.  i'd use live writer, but it doesn't let me change a number of post settings.  might be a reason to write my own plug-in.

so anyway, i was thinking, before my blogging hiatus i was kinda getting annoyed with myself for framing all of life's events and thoughts in terms of blog material.  do photographers do that ?  writers ?  to me it seemed faked somehow.  i'm going to try and not do that this time around.

i'm also going to try not to repeat myself, or at least say something significantly new or different on an old subject.  gets tough as more material accumulates.  our ruts get deeper and deeper.

was channel surfing last night (can't wait for all digital brodcasts - i won't update my set, i'll just let things fade to gray), and saw a peter frampton concert on pbs. still playing the same old crap.  and the audience is still digging it.  i guess it would seem strange to expect him to be doing new stuff, just as it would be strange for new people to be doing truly retro stuff (not faux retro).  it kind of got me thinking about change, adaptability, the truth of one's existence in a dynamic sense.  the same effects apply in any field, science being a notable one.  how do these same principles (which i haven't expressed here) affect me ?  my career ?  how does it affect societies ? 

and so on.  too rusty in self-expression at the moment to clarify all that very well.  that is still one of the reasons i want to keep writing.  damn good for that purpose.

i also decided that i will go ahead and post some retro stuff from the last several months, just to prove i haven't been entirely brain dead for the last year.  these will be from emails, still in reactive mode, but at least the blogging aspect will have been an afterthought.  pretty much in each instance the bloggability was discovered after reviewing what i wrote, and seeing that it was more or less soap-box stuff, talking at the recipient instead of to them.  nothing particularly earth-shaking.  well, there was one thread on pluto...

i kinda sorta also need to put my money where my mouth is, following up on some thinking and discussions about democracy and voting over the last few months.  suffice to say i disagree with the mainstream on things.  wow, big surprise.

wups, some scifi movie on.  missed a few minutes.... later.

(not using "live writer"; i want to update our metablog.ashx first)

i have enojoyed looking back at past posts here, while i wasn't posting.  i was even thinking of posting some links to my favorites, writer's choice, but there's too many.  i'm also just a little bit self-intimidated [self: thanks!]  by some of it.  all that free time was apparently worth something, even if only to me.  can't just ponder indefinitely on random topics these days.  ah well, time to think forward again.  but it's just not the same quality...

so we finally had some snow today. a couple inches, maybe.  we just don't get the extremes fouund elsewhere.  but you wouldn't know it by talking with the locals.

am i a local now ?  over nine years.  far too long for a place that was never on my radar.  it's only inertia keeping me here.

just quiet.  count that blessing.  random incoherent considerations.  these days when i gaze at my navel, often all i see is lint.