fractalnavel

kinda thinking about that poor groundhog poking his head out of a hole, looking for spring.

that's me, finally showing up on a blog.  this one sits in most of the categories here, just so's it covers bases.

just took 25 minutes to order a pizza by phone.  good thing i have a couple beers in me, pretty funny, really.  is technology crippling people ?  i didn't use my usual order-over-the-web method since i wanted a couple of items added to one of their pizzas that the web page wouldn't let me do.  hell, it wouldn't even let me order more than five items on a pizza.  it's a sad, sad world ;-)

me? been workin', that's what.  it seems our tiny, digital-local blogging group also took the holidays off.  jon is doing bowling releases only.  craig is off doing his other blog, rarely, and getting weirder by the moment.  i resolved not to comment there, i wanted to see the unperturbed result. yeah, it curved off, higher order derivatives increasing.

lots of stuff of minor kinds happening over the last few weeks.  went up to michigan to visit some family for christmas day.  inadvertently decapitated a neighborhood snowman.  had a pi [sic] fight with my brother.  went out to maryland for new years.  watched the crab drop.  had some wonderful (bold, italic, underline) meals courtesy of my sister (venison tenderloin, and more - latkes, ...).  a menorah in an advent wreath ?  o-k.  saw “narnia”.  picked our own oysters and ate them as we got 'em, my nephew doing the shucking as eric & i ate.  putted around the water a bit on a ten horse skiff, looking for non existent fish (i was following the birds before i figured that the birds were probably following me...).

fan belt came off halfway home, did repairs in the rain, since luckily the belt wrapped itself around the fan shaft instead of going away altogether.  autoparts store in the boonies was closed, of course, on january second.

launched a website this week.  it's ok, kind of mom & pop, but if you don't invest more than that golden threshold, that's what you get.

only a few weeks left of stuff to do, other projects, same place.  kind of a shame, since working less than a mile and a half down the road has let me ride around with the jeep top & doors off most of the winter so far.  very cool, no pun intended.  stop at the coffee shop on the way in, coast through the park into the lot, under the overhangs so i don't worry about rain.  i would love to work there longer.  but i didn't apply to the openings they had.  why ?  i dunno.  fear of failure ? partly.  but also low pay (so what? beats none at all), and i really, really, should be moving on.  always far better to be leaving something good than running from something bad.

anyway, that's the resolution to that last post.  i didn't want that particular position, nor the long term commitment.  i just wanted to stay on at this place.  and be able to really stretch my skills.  unfortunately, yet again, this is not to be.  i see the unnecessary bogging down of vision and motivation at this place, like all places, and it's sad, since there is so much potential with only a little push.

which lesson i should apply to my own life, yet do not.  anyway, here i am, and there i was, and the intent was not to leave people hangng, just had to work lots of hours.

on the metablogging topic, i've been trying to sort out why or why not to write.  the purpose has changed.  the rants are less of a motivator nowadays, likewise my celebration of personal weirdnesses.  keeping in touch is still a good idea, though, so there's that, for a while.

the thinking and creating and discovering continues, however, whether exposed to others or not.  i am tired of leaving breadcrumb trails for those who never had any intention of following.  of little matter in any case, since i do those things for me.  a shame to be lost to the world.  that responsibility is shared, but i've done enough in that regards, since the obtuseness of the Other would otherwise destroy that which is being born. 

not an issue, since the Idea exists in the environment, bound to persist and be expressed by any who lend an ear or a mind to the metaphysical ground.

the train is coming.  it cannot stop.