fractalnavel

consultants bring a different perspective to the job.  we've been around, and seen a lot, if not quite all.  we look at clients and shake our heads, “what are you getting so excited about?  it will all work out fine.”  which i'm sure is greatly annoying.  the converse is as true: “people!  your walls are crumbing around you! wake up!”.  i'm not sure if this is even more annoying.

so the current undertaking is of the first variety.  they are fine, they just don't know it, and this lack of awareness contributes to their growing pains.  which is all part of it at their early stage of the game.  the details don't matter much, you can imagine them for yourselves (if you were consultants; if not, you don't care anyway).

i think the funniest, most unique aspect so far is bringing in a person for coding help, then two weeks later the rest of the development team, including the customer / sponsor, all disappear for two or more weeks.  two weeks after some return, a deployment is scheduled.  so here is this new guy, me, left to hold down the fort.  can't even get upset about it, it's downright funny.  i haven't even been around long enough to feel any burden of respnsibility at all.  i will do what i can do, but it doesn't reflect on me at all.

brought on the project to code.  sure would have been nice if that's all it was.  but circumstances required a business analyst, and some project consulting, and some group therapy.  i have spent maybe a quarter of my time programming.  sigh.  not much choice, really.  gotta jump in where it's needed, at least as a bare minimum.  but that sucks me into areas in which i did not want to participate, for, although i am very good at them, i have some shortcomings in those areas as well, of the “people skills” variety.

on a more practical note, i got my first paycheck in almost four years.  1099, eh?  so it looks far bigger than for a w2 employee, but it also means i need to keep enough for taxes myself, and do things like quarterly estimated payments, i think.  but having it all up front, that's a good thing.  even more in line with some analysis i did that tells us we should aim not for refunds, but the largest legal end of year tax bill we can manage.  as for this year, though - well, you never know, i may not owe enough to matter.  and how does that “income averaging” thing work ?  sure wish i could average in several years of no income at all.

still need to be frugal(ish).  no guarantees about duration of engagement.  although i'll gladly take whatever breathing room i can get.

all is what it is.  om mani padme om....

geez, i'm outa shape.  a few hours of yard work and i'm sore all over.  that's what i get for playing couch pilot almost exclusively for so long now.  i even have a blotch on my leg below where my laptop's cpu is.  i'm slowly getting cooked.

this is all reversible though.  i don't consider this aging; this happens to kids as well as adults. at least winter is here, skiing & stuff helps a little bit.  but i haven't heard a thing about any trips this year.  and i know that if it depends on making it happen myself, i just don't get very motivated.  so we'll see.

but back to the yard work.  after a few flurries this week it was clearly time to get the leaves off the lawn and do the annual fall trimming of vegetation.  it's not going to happen on its own.  some people look at me funny when i say i need to do yard work, sorry, can't work that day.  a saturday.  people who have others to share the work with.  life alone is somewhat different.  there's only one person to point to if things aren't the way they need to be.

so i'm getting the piles of leaves together, and the neighbor's dog is watching me. he looks like a slightly smaller version of a chocolate lab.  he's just standing patiently on the other side of the fence, thinking doggy thoughts.  curious ? waiting to be noticed ?  after he notices my glance he gets a bit more excited.  i shake my head, thinking no time to play, gotta get this done before dark.  he runs off - and comes back with a stick.  come play! shakes the stick. come play!  that gets a grin.  but i continue to rake.  a minute later he runs off - and returns with what must be his favorite ball.  this gets a laugh.  gotta stop this time.  is this better? come play! growl. come play!  sorry buddy.  i feel a little guilty; it's not you, dog, it's me.  so i keep going.

as i move on to other parts of the yard, he continues to watch as the piles of leaves grow, get kicked together onto a big blue tarp, then dragged and dumped under the pine trees for mulch in a great noisy display of rumpling plastic.  must be quite a show.  what great piles! why aren't you jumping in them? yeah, like that! can i play?

dusk falls before i can finish.  i stagger off for some leftover pizza.  the couch has been on autopilot.